I have been a shopping master this week! I have spent too long staring at the shopping list and hesitating before pulling the trigger on committing to any particular clothing items. Thanks to a massive 50% off sale at New York and Company and my 30% off coupon + multiple sales going on at Old Navy, I managed to compile a decent wardrobe for my new adventure.
Well... not quite... on Monday, my medical clearance got kicked back. Apparently I didn't provide enough documentation on all my paperwork and I am still missing 1 shot. This has been a big pain, since the clearance the first time took me over 1 month to complete! Hopefully I can complete what they're asking for in 1 week, but who knows. I'm already on Peace Corps time, which means I'm getting really lazy! (burn out already?? I sure hope not!)
I also have still been talking to my "PC Buddy, Aime" who has been amazingly helpful with the clothes hunt. She gave me a lot of assurances as to what I could wear over there and what would be considered too "American" (basically, nothing tight and no cleavage). In my last e-mail I asked her what she does in her spare time, since its common knowledge that PCVs have a lot! She said she cooks, knits, crochets and enjoys movies. She added at the end of the paragraph, that there is a lot of down time especially in the winters. Sometimes the snow will shut down your work for weeks at a time, since the winters are so rough, so take some time to think about a hobby you want to explore and bring it along!
How many times in life do you get that opportunity? (Answer: Not often!) So before even finishing the e-mail, I thought and thought. Surely there has got to be a hobby in the back of my mind that I want to explore.
Blank.
Absolutely nothing came to mind. Not a thing. Dead silent in my brain. But slowly but surely a whisper came up from out of nowhere and whispered in my ear clear as day, "Bagpipes. You want to learn how to play the bagpipes..."
Just so you understand how insane this is, imagine me doing this...
Unfortunately that is where my humor ended this week. It has been very tense at my house with the quickly approaching deadline and the understanding of both Scott and I that we are no where near ready for this relationship to meet its end. No amount of talking about it is going to make either of us feel any better so its pointless, but the talks continue nonetheless. We've started watching some shows on HGTV together that we're loving (House Hunters International is my favorite and House Hunters is his, go figure!) and I'm watching him start to put together his plans to buy his first home- a project we originally planned on doing together.
Like the hobby, it is not many times in your life that you come across a crossroads in your life this obvious and this severe. I still would not change my mind though, which is of little comfort. I've listened to some great songs; Adele comes to mind as a helper of emotional anguish, as does Maroon 5's new song, Daylight. As I wrote about last week, I was reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. One night, when I was particularly sad about my impending separation from someone who I hold in higher esteem than any other, I read this...
"People think that a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you. A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions and break your heart open so new light can get in."
I cried and cried and cried and cried. How could I not? Scott and I met in what was undoubtedly, the worst and darkest period of my life. With his assistance, I got my self esteem back, confidence back, I became a better friend and desire to be a better person. I finally felt confident enough to challenge myself again. My entire outlook changed. If it weren't for his support and encouragement, there is no way I would be following my insane dream to join the Peace Corps! I don't want to give the impression he did this all on his own, but he was a hand up when I desperately needed one and a warm blanket for when I got too uncomfortable. He has been a true friend, companion and partner in every sense of the word. He fits Elizabeth Gilbert's definition of a soul mate, which is something I knew long ago, it just helped to read it so blatantly. And while I hope our lives circle around again to each other in the near future, until then I will be eternally grateful for his formative presence in my life.
OFFICIAL COUNTDOWN:
DAYS LEFT AT WORK: 19
DAYS LEFT: 51