This has been my home and source of dozens of life lessons I've learned over the past two years. So as I wrap up my blog and my service, I wanted to indulge myself and impart those words of "wisdom" before signing off for good the first week in July. You probably already know a lot of them or some of them may be new, and some are more solid than others but this is also an act of reflection and closure for me so just humor me! So I present: 27 Life Lessons I Learned in 27 Months in Armenia.
27. We Don't Always Know Best
Clearly I had no idea what I was talking about!
26. The Need to Suffer is Bullshit!
25. Americans ARE Privileged
I wish! Putting aside the money thing and the fact that Armenians don't believe there is poverty in America I constantly tell them that we are not privileged.
24. Control is an Illusion
23. Beauty can be Found in the Ugliest of Places
22. Apricots make you Poop!
21. Misadventures Lead to the Best Stories
20. Diversity is Astoundingly Beautiful
"Diversity may be the hardest thing for a society to live with, and perhaps the most dangerous thing for a society to be without." - William Sloane Coffin, Jr.
19. Weird is Wonderful!
"Well behaved women | Part of the reason I feel so close to Louiza is because I recognized pretty quickly how weird that girl is. I mean, when I arrived the only English she knew was "Honda, power of dreams!" In my experience, this culture isn't big on promoting individuality so I wanted to be a safe person for her to really be herself with. It really worked and I have had more fun with that kid than I thought was possible. My time with her and our adventures wouldn't have been nearly as wonderful or memorable if she had been a kid who sat still, did as she was told and thought through what she said before she said it. I learned a lot about children living with Bella, Louiza and Davit but I think my biggest lesson was that weird is wonderful! She's going to do great things as long as she keeps being herself, doesn't conform to anything that isn't true to herself and keeps being weird! We could all stand to be a little more weird and conform less to pressure. |
18. Sometimes it Takes More Courage to Quit than it Does to Stay
Because she was being true to herself. This wasn't the experience she hoped it would be and she felt that she would do more good for her community to leave and free up a volunteer space, than stay and wait the clock out for the sake of her pride. Some people may frown on that but I think it is brave. Thinking of quitting (anything, not just Peace Corps) can bring lots of shame and peer pressure, but if it's not a good fit and is not mutually beneficial, then it's important to find something that is! It does take a lot of courage to get over that pressure and be true to yourself rather than run out the clock.
17. Failure Can Be A REALLY Good Thing
BUT, I took what I learned from how bad it was and made our window fundraising better! What would have happened with our windows if the Earth Day project had gone as planned? Of course we'll never know, but through each failure, we learn!
16. I Know Practically Nothing
"I'm bored is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you have seen 'none' percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever... The fact that you're alive is amazing so you never get to say, "I'm bored." | I thought I knew about myself, the world and development. I read lots of books so I thought I knew Armenia. In reality, I know next to nothing. Each day I was/am surprised with something I didn't know. I read and challenged what I already knew. Every day taught me something about something. Soon enough I learned that the amount of knowledge I have (still) is shockingly small! There is still so much to see and to learn to waste one second of our time on earth not learning seems like such a huge waste. I have always loved learning but my experience here has shown me that no matter how much I learn, there is always more. |
15. Adventures Cannot Be Forever
This one surprised me. Naively, I went into this experience thinking "I'm going to have a 2 year adventure!" No... You're going to have major culture shock for a few months and then settle into a routine. Routines are normal, good and find you no matter where you are. Adventures don't last forever in a situation like this but that's totally ok! Routines don't trap you or make you stifled. It's what you do with them that does. Most days, I woke up, ate breakfast, went to work, came home, spent time with my family and went to sleep. The only thing that was different was where I did it. |
14. Friendship Can Come From Unlikely Sources
13. "Listen with your Heart and you will Understand."
Even when traveling, I often didn't understand the languages. I don't know Georgian, Spanish (well), French, Arabic, Amharic or Russian. But I got around just fine! Everyone on the planet wants the same thing. They want to be nice and they want people to be nice to them. Even if we didn't have the same language, we always have something in common. We just have to find it. I remember the kid in Morocco wearing the Lakers jersey who rescued Scott and I from the bad neighborhood in Fez, or the kind waitress at my favorite restaurant in Tbilisi. Language is a barrier we create for ourselves, but if we try hard enough, and are good enough at charades, we can always connect with people in other ways. |
12. Community is Important
This is not just with neighbors. Being apart of the Peace Corps community both inside Armenia and knowing there are over 200,000 people that have had similar experiences as me has been fantastic for networking and connecting with people. Hopefully this will help someday in the job hunt, but right now within country it has been a life saver. Sometimes you just need to tell someone, "Can you believe this just happened?" and have them understand because they're going through the same thing. The volunteers have been a constant source of varying expertise, friendship and support. We are going through the same struggles and in times like this it's so nice to know you're never alone. I'll definitely look out for different sources of community when I return to America. Geographic, professional, whatever; community is important.
11. Treat Yo'Self
Quiz: You just get off a crowded marshutni that was 5 hours long over bumpy roads? What are you going to do? A) Get straight to work because you have to and that's what life is about OR B) Treat Yo'Self. (Not 'treat your self' because it must be said with sass). Question 2: You just had a horrible work meeting, are you A) going to hurry home to your obligations at home or B) Treat Yo'Self! Life isn't about work, eating perfectly or keeping the perfect budget. Sometimes we all deserve a small indulgence! Here I feel that I've learned the art of self care here! If we don't take care of ourselves and don't make ourselves happy, we can't many anyone else happy. So have that glace! Take the long way home from work to enjoy the walk! Splurge on that beautiful shirt because you work hard for your salary! TREAT YO'SELF!!! in moderation |
10. People Will Forget What You Said, People Will Forget What You Did, but People Will Never Forget How You Made Them Feel.
9. A Good Family is the Best Asset
Being welcomed into the Yedigaryan/Asatryan family has been the single most important factor in having a successful service in Armenia. Not only the emotional support and friendship they provided but they all banded together to teach me about the language, the culture and provided me with invaluable contacts in the community. I had less harassment because someone would start with me and I'd name drop and they'd immediately stop. "That's right! I have back up, loser!!" It was invaluable and I will forever be thankful to each one of them. I really did feel apart of their family. |
I described the weird interaction I had with the woman. She immediately started yelling, "Oh no! She can't do that to you! Just because you're an American she thinks she can take advantage of you like that! Who is this woman! I'm going to talk to her!" As she's yelling she's trying, unsuccessfully to get up off the couch, her big belly keeping her firmly planted to the couch. It was both touching and hilarious. I don't know what I would do without them.
Of course the Yedigaryans and Asatryans weren't the only ones supporting me through all this. Many week nights were spent skyping with my real family back in the States. They gave me a great outlet for my stories, provided me with great advice and kept me up to date with what is going on in America. Even as their lives got busy and hectic, they always made time for me. That's something I'll always appreciate. Then in spring 2015 when my Dad and my Uncle Joe flew to Armenia to visit, that made me feel so loved and appreciated. It was so important to me to share this aspect of my life and I got to see just how alike we all all. |
You're never alone when you're got an awesome family (or 4) behind you.
8. Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone Feels Great!
I want to test those limits forever. Maybe not walk 1/2 way across another mountainous country (never again!), but through traveling, learning, talking to strangers and branching out into other interests I will never stop pushing the limits of my comfort zone.
7. Some People Will Never Like Me, No Matter How Hard I Try.
It's fine that they don't like me. Their actions say more about them than they do about me. I will not let their decisions and words impact me because no matter how hard I try, some people will just never like me and that's totally ok!
6. And I Don't Have to Like Everything!
5. Ask for Help if you Need It!
Everyone thinks they have no ego. I never thought I did until I was confronted with select challenges that forced me to set my ego aside. Being schooled in English grammar by a foreigner, pooping my pants on a hike during a nasty stomach bug, finding a spider infestation under my bed, or being treated like an expert in a topic I know nothing about really brought me down to earth with whatever cloud I was on! To admit that I needed help (or a new pair of pants) was really hard! After all, independence and perseverance is really stressed here. |
Reaching out for help builds bonds, memories and over the years has gotten so much easier I don't know why it was ever an issue in the first place!
4. Help Comes in Many Forms
3. True Love Knows No Distance
Even though we lived on opposite sides of the planet, I think we both Scott and I could say that we have learned a lot about love, our relationship and ourselves through this experience. Having had two prior serious relationships that ended horribly when things went long distance, we thought we were being smart when we ended our 4.5 year romance at the airport before I left for staging in Washington DC. But love finds a way. Just because it was scary and would undeniably be difficult that didn't mean we couldn't survive and thrive under these conditions! Even when we weren't "together" we talked almost every day and decided a few months later that we were being stupid. We both wanted to spend our lives together so why were we saying long distance was "too hard?" In February 2014 he flew to Armenia and we were engaged the next day. Since then we've grown closer than ever. True love knows no distance. |
2. We Affect More People Than We Know
He had killed himself.
This crippled me. I hadn't seem him in years but he was so kind, funny and had just gotten his PhD. All my "I had this awesome professor..." stories originated with him. We had not remained in contact (Scott had), but he had impacted my life and my education in a really big way. I cannot imagine my college experience without him. But he never knew that and I never told him. I have no doubt there were countless students he interacted with over the years that cared about him just as much as I did, that he never realized.
Almost 1 year later to the day, I was sitting in my room having a really blue day. I didn't feel that I had used my time in Armenia well and hadn't taken advantage of enough opportunities. I spent too much time with my host family and not enough in the community. In general, I felt like a horrible volunteer and was allowing myself to wallow in it. Then a knock came on my window. I wiped my tears away and walked to open my window where I found a neighbor girl, Nona. She handed me a bouquet of windflowers and said, "I love you. You are my good friend," and then ran away leaving me in the window. I hadn't done anything more than wave at this little girl and occasionally ask her how her day was and yet I was worthy of her love and flowers. She left me speechless. |