I had the honor of attending my good friend Eliza's engagement party this week. Eliza is my counterpart, so she is the person Peace Corps has paired with me to shadow each other, learn from each other and share everything about each other. I'd have to say our partnership has been incredibly successful and I've enjoyed every moment I've spent with bubbly, always happy, insightful, forward thinking and fun Eliza. I was especially honored to be able to attend her engagement party this week. Engagement parties here are typically "family only" but Eliza invited me and one of her other friends to join in the celebration.
I knew ahead of time that dating and engagements were very different in Armenia than they are in America. Dating... well, doesn't exist. It's more like courting and you only do it with one person. So when you begin "dating" someone, you do so with the intent of marriage and it is taken very seriously.
Eliza and Artashes have been together almost two years so this engagement party was a long time coming in a place where the normal courtship is only a few months. But as with everything in Armenia, it was very different from America.
I knew ahead of time that dating and engagements were very different in Armenia than they are in America. Dating... well, doesn't exist. It's more like courting and you only do it with one person. So when you begin "dating" someone, you do so with the intent of marriage and it is taken very seriously.
Eliza and Artashes have been together almost two years so this engagement party was a long time coming in a place where the normal courtship is only a few months. But as with everything in Armenia, it was very different from America.
When I arrived at Eliza's house there were already 40+ people there (all his and her family). I went into a room with all women where we set the presents on the table. I've got this. We open the presents and ooh and ah. Not quite... First of all, Eliza sat far from the presents and Artashes' sister, Zhenni (also a good friend of mine and Aida's daughter) opened the presents. They included clothes, purses, fruit, alcohol and candles (from me). Eliza didn't touch the presents. Everything that had a ribbon on it or was wrapped in any way was undone and even the stickers were taken off the fruit. One lady must have seen the confusion on my face at the way everything was being opened (but not take out of the wrapping) and leaned over and said, "It is tradition. Everything must be open so..." and I didn't understand the rest of it. Oh well!
We then made it outside where the men had set up a horovats, dolma, balinchik and steamed lamb feast. I cursed myself for wearing tight pants as I was directed to sit with Eliza's sisters. About 10 minutes after starting everyone started clapping and the happy couple stood up. I looked up in just enough time to see him take her hand, slip on a beautiful gold, diamond ring on her finger, kiss her cheek and sit back down together. They were now officially engaged!
You know the story. The American couple goes off alone, the man gets down on one knee and asks the woman to marry him. She says yes or no, they hug and kiss. They go back to their families, announce their engagement and have a party. But here, it is a decision made by the couple with their families and the party is the official commencement of the engagement.
After the engagement was over the party really began. Endless toasts, loud pop music and spontaneous dancing took over, as is typical of all Armenian parties. I didn't partake in most, partially because I had gained at least 5 pounds from the feasting and didn't want to waddle my way around and partially because I wanted to just soak it all in. I arrived around 2pm and I took a taxi home around midnight, exhausted, and the party was still going strong.